sleepy, and kill?

Its still 7:30 am here, been up for a while. I like to wake up early to study, which is kind of the opposite of every other student I know here. They like to stay up late. I can't stay up late, don't know why, but i just can't. My eyes start drifting, what takes me 10 minutes to comprehend turns into 30..I guess I'm just not a night person.
Been reading the news lately. What the fuck is wrong with the world? Taleban apparently roaming north west pakistan , and blowing themselves up. The most recent one, killed 2 children and 4 other people. Why? I don't really understand. But I guess thats politics for you, incorporated into Islam. Since when was blowing up yourself glorified? I'm sorry Mr. Islamists, but I don't think if you kill yourself and a whole bunch of innocent people with you, you go to heaven and get 40 virgins. Mr. Islamist you are retarded. Maybe that was going through the mind of the teenager who shot a whole bunch of people at a mall in the US the other day. Who knows, he might have seen Bush as his role model. Seeing what he does in Iraq, if the president wages war to kill innocent lives. To kill seems to be the right thing to do these days, doesn't it?
All I have to say, is stupid world.

Finals...and finals?

Finals are on the way. Have three of them this semester, which is nice. First one is in 10 days..biochemistry. Ugh, not really looking forward to it. So much memorization, my head hurts. Today We went skating. It was lots of fun. I am thinking of doing figure skating next year, don't know whats up with me this while, I am anxious to try new things and jump out of the ordinary day to day things. Just hope it doesn't mean I am going to die soon or something. Because for the first time, I am finding life not all that bad. World is still insane, but what I have, is wow...best feeling in the world.
But my biggest fear is, that I will group up into a TV addict, weighing 200 pounds, and eating french fries after mid night. So I guess I am doing everything I can, to stop that image. But it won't leave me.
Funny conversation of today:
Me: " Don't know why people feel insulted when you call them an animal, I think I'll be proud if someone calls me that. Animals don't kill each other for a million bucks".
HU: " Yea they do, when mating and stuff..Like goats, when they fight".
Me: " I have never heard of a goat dropping a nuclear bomb."
HU: "Well Bin Laden kinds looks like a goat with his beard thing, but I guess he didn't really drop a nuclear bomb now did he?"

recital

surprisingly it was fun! I didn't mess up, did all the dances right and I had fun. It was great! I am thinking of doing more classes next year..because I really enjoy dancing. Tonight I get to dress up and look pretty, we have a dance semi formal..cant wait :). Bought a new dress and everything.

mini recital STRESS

ugh..my worse of fears is tomorrow. It is the mini recital, Yes, dancing in public. I am so freaking nervous. To compliment that, I have to final tests tomorrow. Lovely Algorithms and lovely Scientific computing. Good thing I am already passing in both courses, that puts my mind to ease a tiny bit.
So nervous

Live to eat, eat to Die

I for sure, enjoy food. I love food. I would say I live to eat and not eat to live. But my choices are different than most people. I enjoy a salad that takes me 15 minutes to make, 10 million times over a burger or french fries. I enjoy my own home cooked food a billion and one times over a restaurant meal. No matter what the restaurant is or, what food it is. Today as I was walking back from the grocery store carrying a cauliflower and milk, I saw a huge McDonald's van. It seemed more like a huge RV. I have no idea what it is. And it parked in the oddest of places. Not in front of a McDonald's, or anywhere close but at a house. I waited around to see whats the deal with it, but got bored and continued walking home. Anyways, what drew my attention is the advertising on this trailer or RV. Ofcourse it had the MCD's slogan: loving it and then pictures of people. Slim, healthy, happy looking , extremely fit people. Sorry McDonald's but the only thing came to my mind is overweight, obese, sad looking people. Who are so sad because they are extremely overweight and unhealthy. And because they know they are going to die of high cholesterol, or high fat content. Sorry McDonald's but you have to change your slogan to: Eat to Die. I don't understand how people could "love" this food. I much rather my cauliflower with cooked yogurt, and mashed potatoes with lemon and garlic. Big mac? Yuck..you mean heavly manipulated cow (antibiotics,hormones...you name it) between two pieces of white killing bread. No thank you.

Dance

I decided to join a dance class this year so I can stay in shape and keep those studying pounds off. Next week we have a mini recital. Which means dancing in front of people. I am very nervous, because I am for sure, not a stage person. I am fine with public speaking, actually more than fine. But when it comes to performing, Im a chicken. I could have not been a part of it, but I decided its time to step out of my chicken zone and try something new. So we will see how it goes.

Afraid

Snow. Do I like it? No, I would much rather sun, butterflies, warmth, and shorts. Do I hate it? again no, there is something about snow, that I find romantic and comforting. This however, only holds when Im in my nice warm apartment looking outside. There is nothing comforting about being cold and shivering while walking to campus every morning.
This is our forth day of snow. It hasn't snowed heavily, just a few sprinkles here and there. Enough to make it really cold though.
Teeth should be as white as snow. But they never are, unless you are obsessed with teeth whitening just like many people are. Some people just don't even look human to me , when they smile. Wow such whiteness, almost going to glow. Can't say I like it.
A trip to the dentist made me think of teeth. I had my teeth cleaned and looked at. I'm going to be taking out 2 of my wisdom teeth..eeeek. I had my teeth x rayed for the first time in my life..my teeth are funny. The doctor actually laughed at them, he said they are the biggest teeth he has ever seen. By biggest he meant having really long roots. They did look mutated to me. Oh well what can we do, maybe I am special after all. I have long teeth. Yay!
Anyways, what I am afraid of is not my long teeth, but of forgetting. I am scared of forgetting all the good moments that I am living right now. I hate it. As time passes, the past seems to fade in my head, and there are some things i want to be engraved in my brain. Moments such as laughing with my love, dancing with him, wrestling with him, cooking with him and most of all cuddling with him. PLease, please brain never forget these moments..